2008
San Francisco - In an unprecedented event in human history, an autorobot spontaneously combusted endangering the owner as well as other motorists. Both the Sci Fi Channel and Homeland Security are looking into the event. Greg Dorsey of the Sci Fi Channel had this to say about the event. "When we heard about it we thought this is a case for our ghosthunters team since it seems as if a someone or thing started this fire and we like to know just what type of energy might have caused such a grave event. Upon viewing the autorobot we were sure we were needed." Thanks Sci Fi Channel and here's a picture of the damage they saw first
The owner a Mr. J. Nicholas of San Francisco, California had this to say about this scary event. "I was just trying to have a nice day driving along 101 and ready to get into the 280 lane going west when I noticed my faithful autorobot started to lose power and I noticed a little smoke. So I assumed something was wrong but by that time I was already in the flyover lane and as I came off the flyover and onto the left lane of 280, I noticed lots of smoke and real power loss and realized that I might be on fire, and needed to get off the freeway as soon as possible or I'd be jumping from a moving vehicle. Fortunately, I was able to get over to the Alemany exit and park in front of the Projects, at which time I didn't even grab my keys but grabbed my two bags and jumped from the auto. It appeared to be (the smoke) cooling down, so I thought it might have been something else when I realized it really was on fire. I immediately called 911 on my cell, but got a recording that they were busy and thus could not reach the fire department. A rather attractive fellow stopped and also called and experienced the same problem. I meet him as I headed up to a waiting tow truck, presumably ready to remove vehicles during rush hour, to get him to call the fire department. I think he was waiting for flames to appear, since I did reach him and he said he had called. But of course by then the whole front was in flames and all I could do was watch my cute little Bronco burn up, I would have been in tears except for the cute boy. The fire department finally arrived, but alas too late to save the autorobot. The really cute fireman was very impressed with my tires. They were also impressive in putting out the fire. By then I had called my friend Jeanne and she was on her way and arrived about the time the firemen were done and packing up. It was then I could finally let some of my emotions of the event loose and cry. Although there are no pictures of the actual fire, not thinking about my camera phone. I have this view of the front which I had to watch burn up.
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It was about that time I remembered that my David Bowie album Aladdin Sane was in the autorobot as I had been playing it. Immediately Homeland Security appeared and began to question me." Homeland Security's Michael Swearoff, unexpectedly arrived to question the victim and inspect the damage. Mr. Swearoff, shouldn't you be doing more important things than worrying about a 35 year old album, made into a CD 20 years ago? He said, "We've suspected that Aladdin Sane was involved with terrorist activities but haven't been able to prove it. We want to know if playing the CD at a certain volume would cause it to cause a fire or was this really suppose to blow up and was just too old. That way we can confiscate all these CDs from the innocent public, and besides, I like to go out into the field and just have a look around, you know I let someone else worry about the day to day affairs, I'm just trying to keep America safe from terrorists. Hell they could have been hiding in the engine." Um, Thank you Mr. Swearoff. This is the photo taken in which they had the most interest for their initial inspection.
Next, Homeland Security questioned the gentleman about his CD habits and volume controls, but would not reveal the details and asked the victim not to speak to the press. For him however, regardless of the cause, it is the end of a long friendship with a cute autorobot and we leave you with a picture that seems almost impossible to imagine.
And that's our report from the NoNews Channel, where your news is not our news. If you enjoyed this autorobot story look for future editions of adventures with the autorobot such as: When I met the Electric Yo Yo Man Almost Lost Forever Rolling Beatle These are thrilling stories of what can happen to people who are wraped in a cage of metal prone to spewing pollution and greenhouse gases forever. They are the stories of our lives. Reporting for the NoNews network this Doug N. Cover. |
